I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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