Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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