This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
