omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
