So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You made out with two different species that night
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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