i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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