Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
