We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
