As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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