Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
