Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have aggressive nipples.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
