Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
