if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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