my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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