im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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