yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
