hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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