Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize