And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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