At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
