shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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