I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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