I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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