Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize