Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize