I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
