So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You can't special order awesome
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
