honey bunches of taint.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
