I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize