how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
