Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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