Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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