So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
