your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
