Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We left the knife in your bed.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
