The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
