This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
