listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
