hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
