yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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