Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
