Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
