I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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