@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
