I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
