he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
