She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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