Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
