So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
they're like a gay fantastic four
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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