Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
