I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize