Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
