The maid of honor just puked.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
