Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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