I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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