I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
