Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
