can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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