TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
