We're like a lot better than the average bears
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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