I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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