i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
