I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
And then he peed in my hair
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize