I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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