the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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