Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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