i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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