just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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