Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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