This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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